The Gift
by JewelzVee
Summary: One can never say thank you enough.  Post Antarctica, Gambit. Not Romy-but Rogue is still in the story. Long overdue update! Sorry! Enjoy everyone!
1. Chapter 1

The mutant hero team known as the X-Men were scattered on the ground of a large prison cell. Each of them had a bulky power neutralizing collar around their neck. Slowly the mutant known as Cyclops began to stir, he sat up and looked to his fellow teammates who were also waking up. He did a mental head count and listed off his fellow X-men; Jean, Wolverine, Arc Angel, Iceman, Beast, Psyloche, Rogue, and Storm. Good they were all here, wherever here was.

"Is everyone alright?" Scott asked as he climbed to his feet. He put his hand out for his wife and pulled her up.

"Define 'alright', bub." Logan growled out as he inspected the strange casings that sat on his knuckles preventing him from extending his metal claws.

Bobby groaned and rubbed his stiff neck, "Oh man! What happened?"

"Your pathetic team attempted to destroy my research. Attempted and failed." A dark voice answered from a doorway. A pair of glowing red eyes was the first thing the X-Men saw as the stranger stepped out of the shadows. "You were easily over taken and now you are in my custody." Mr. Sinister, also known as Dr. Nathaniel Essex, crossed the large laboratory to his computer.

"Sinister!" Warren hissed out at the scientist.

"Yes indeed, Mr. Worthington. A pleasure you see you as well." His attention focused on the computer screen in front of him. After a few moments he tapped a final key and looked at the vigilante group once more. "As annoying as your laughable attack was it did present an interesting opportunity for me. With you all here now I am able to kill two birds with one stone."

"What the hell do you mean by that, Dr. Frankenstein?" Logan asked gruffly, not in any mood to play some sick mind game.

"Instead of halting my genetic research you are now aiding me by being a fine group of samples and test subjects." Sinister said as he skimmed a few papers.

"And the other part?" Hank McCoy asked as his eyes warily searched the medical tools laid around the lab.

Mr. Sinister looked to the X-Men, satisfied that he had their undivided attention and put down his paper work. He grinned evilly, "The second part is really more for fun." Jean clung to Scott and shuddered. "Really, I should be thanking you, X-Men. You had recently returned a most invaluable tool to me. Without you I would not have been reunited with such a treasure."

"What are you talking about?" Rogue asked, tired of Sinister's cryptic message.

"See for yourself, X-Man." Essex turned his eyes to the same doorway he entered from. As it opened many of the prisoners gasped. Stepping into the lab was a person they never thought they would see again.

"What the hell?" Yelled Logan as he jumped against the bars.

"Traitor!" Warren screamed.

"How-" Rogue asked but was cut off my Bobby's yell of anger. All other cries were drowned out by Dr. Essex's cold humorless laugh.

"Brother," Storm whispered as she sank to the floor of the cage, her own legs unable to support her, "how could you?"

Remy LeBeau stood eerily still- his face emotionless as he looked to Sinister across the room. In over six months no one had heard from him, he had been assumed dead after his team escaped Antarctica without him. He was dressed in an all black uniform, a gun on his thigh and a large knife strapped to his side.

"LeBeau, come here." Sinister ordered the mutant. Quietly he walked to Essex, his attention completely focused on the scientist. He stopped in front of the man, ignoring the people in the cage. "Don't be rude, Gambit," Sinister said with a dark smile, "Say hello to your old teammates."

Gambit slowly turned his body to the X-Men. "Hello." came the monotone greeting. His eyes looked at the mutants in the cage but no true recognition could be seen in his red on black eyes. Jean and Psyclocke exchanged a glance and turned their attention back to their past member.

"Murderer! It figures you would crawl back to this sick madman!" Warren yelled at the thief.

"Remy? Sugar, look at me." Rogue called to her past lover, trying to get his attention.

"Don't talk to him Rogue!" Bobby snapped at her.

"Shut up!" Logan stared intently at Remy. "Look at him."

"What?" Barked Warren.

"That's not the Gambit we know." Jean whispered.

"What?" Scott asked and also studied the young man standing next to the scientist. The X-Men looked Remy LeBeau up and down, trying to figure out what would make Jean say that. His hair was slightly shorter and he was a little thinner, but other than that he looked the same.

Betsy nodded slowly, "Something is wrong with him." Her eyes locked on his dull red and black eyes.

"Something wrong?" Essex feigned surprise and concern. "Tell me, LeBeau, are you unwell?"

"No, sir." Remy stated, his attention back on the scientist, his profile facing the cage.

"He says he is fine, but perhaps we should check? Better safe than sorry, right?" Sinister grinned at his own joke. "LeBeau take out your knife." In a swift fluid movement Remy had his blade out, presented to the man in front of him. "Good. Now place the blade on your jugular."

His former teammates were stunned as he pressed the sharp point to his neck. "No!" Cried Storm, her plea fell on deaf ears as Remy only focused on Essex.

"Tell me LeBeau, would you slice your own throat if I asked you to?"

"Yes sir." There was no irony or dishonesty in his voice. Remy LeBeau was truly ready to drag the blade from one ear to another if Dr. Nathaniel Essex gave the word.

"How about if I asked you plunge that blade into your heart?" Remy raised the blade above his chest ready to enter a new sheath.

"Yes sir." No emotion could be detected in his once smooth Cajun drawl.

"What if I asked you to plunge the knife into Storm's heart, would you do that?" Silence thundered in the X-Men's ears as Gambit slowly turned his eyes to the woman he called sister. She shook her head, tears streaming down her face for the man she loved as her own family. As his eyes locked on her, Ororo was mentally begging that he would say 'no'. Not for her sake, but for his.

"Yes sir." Sinister laughed as the X-Men tried to recover from their disbelief.

"No, Gambit seems to be in perfect working condition."

"What did you do to him, you monster!" Rogue cried out.

"I saved his life! Isn't that right LeBeau?" Sinister looked at his young companion.

"Yes, that is right." Remy said- his eyes still locked on Storm, knife still tight in his grip.

"You may put your blade away." Gambit slid the knife into its holster and turned his eyes to Sinister once more. "As I said before, you returned a priceless item to me, and for that I offer my thanks. If you hadn't abandoned Remy in Antarctica I may have never had the chance to perfect my work with him."

"Abandoned?" Scott whispered.

"Yes, LeBeau tell them how you were left to die."

Remy turned to the cage and spoke, "After my condemning trial the base started to collapse, Rogue picked me up and flew me to safety, then dropped me in the snow and recanted her love for me. Then she flew away." For such a devastatingly sad memory, Remy spoke with no emotion, almost as if he was repeating a list.

"You what?" Storm gasped at Rogue, her team's eyes went to her for confirmation.

"I tried to fight it," whispered Rogue as she sobbed, "But his guilt and self loathing was so strong, when I touched him I absorbed that too. I dropped him and," she sobbed again, tears escaping her green eyes, the eyes that Remy didn't focus on as he looked past her, "It was overwhelming the guilt from his part in the morlock massacre. Remy! I am so sorry, Remy."

Essex chuckled, "Thanks to you Rogue I was able to pick up LeBeau from his impending doom and bring him back into my servitude. Of course, he wasn't too happy with that, were you Gambit?"

"No sir."

"Even on death's doorstep he still fought." Sinister 'tisk'ed at the young man as he gripped the back of his neck. "Quite futile, wasn't it?"

"Yes sir, it was." Remy didn't respond to the hold on his neck, he just kept his eyes forward.

"How long did you last in the cold fallen city before I came for you?"

"About five days."

"How did you survive such extreme cold? And no food?"

"I charged my clothing for warmth and ate anything I could find in the city-most of it is not considered food."

"At least you had plenty of water, right?" Sinister smirked at his own joke.

"Yes sir, plenty of water." Essex turned his attention back to the cage.

"Due to his constant use of his mutant power Gambit was extremely weak, he would not have lasted much longer. After I picked up my pet thief here I was able to work on reprogramming him." Sinister ran his sharp nails through Remy's hair, brushing his long auburn bangs from his eyes.

Beast felt sick, he could have stopped the young man's suffering and torture if he had just spoken against the decision to leave the arctic wasteland without looking for their teammate. He was a man of science, educated and well studied. As his doctor he should have spoken up for his patient's well being.

"What do you mean, reprogramming?" Bobby chocked out, his anger was gone and in its place a sick fearful awe overtook him.

"Exactly what it sounds like. I suppose we would need to start at the beginning of our involvement together." Essex grinned and walked back and forth in front of his prisoners as he began the story. "When Remy LeBeau was still a young man his mutant powers were beginning to flourish past the point of his control. I approached him after he had accidentally demolished a theater. In exchange for reducing his powers I asked for him to work for me until his dept was paid. Even though Remy's conscience was heavy with lives of the people he killed he knew that I was an evil man and denied me. But not for too long, right Gambit? Tell them the state you were in when you finally agreed to my terms."

"My mutant abilities had advanced to the point where I was unable to touch almost any object without charging it. I could sense an objects movement up to a mile away and was unable to calm my mind and body enough for sleep. The power was so strong my joints and muscles ached and nothing could relieve it. On the third day Dr. Essex came to me and presented me once more with his bargain."

"He was held up in a cheap motel, almost naked, burning hot, and unable to eat or drink. If he opened his eyes anything in his line of sight began to charge. That is when this stubborn young man finally agreed to come with me." Essex grinned like a cat playing with his dinner.

"Oh Gambit." Scott sighed in sympathy, he too knew what it was like to be scared of your own body, why hadn't he ever shared his experience with the younger mutant.

"As I was conducting the surgery to reduce his powers a though had occurred to me. Yes, Gambit had a great reputation for holding up his end of a deal, but he seemed to kind hearted to do most of the work I would require of him. So while he was unconscious I installed a small microchip into his brain. This microchip sent out strong signals to Remy's mind making it almost impossible for him to resist my command." Sinister started to run this fingers through Remy's red hair again. "It was working so well too, until his mission to purge the genetically impure filth that inhabited the underground. As soon as the killing began he fought against the impulses sent to his brain-therefore shorting out the microchip." Sinister grabbed a fistful of Remy's hair pulling hard. Still Gambit's face was emotionless even through his discomfort.

"Furthermore, Creed acted against my wishes to apprehend him and attempted to kill him instead. Luckily, LeBeau escaped and I am sure you know the rest. Since he had joined your team I was unable to quietly take him back and repair him, until now that is." Sinister grinned and stepped away from Remy.

"He wanted nothing to do with you or the massacre?" Warren chocked out, his past assumptions about the thief were gone, only his own self resentment remained.

"That is correct. He felt guilt because he remembered his involvement with the Marauders, but he acted irrationally even in his own mind. Until I told him of the chip he thought he had gone crazy during his stay with me." Sinister chuckled evilly at the stunned faces of his enemies. He walked the length of the holding cell once more and smiled. "So again I say, thank you. Thank you X-Men for the gift. LeBeau- stay here. Do not interact with the prisoners and if they try to escape, kill them. Understood?" Sinister ordered his slave as he left the laboratory.

"Yes Master."


	2. Chapter 2

"He is just standing there." Scott said as he watched Remy. It was probably a few hours that their former teammate watched over them. He hadn't responded to them at all, only stared at the cage, preventing any escape attempt. "I don't think he is even blinking… Gambit-as your team leader I order you to let us out." Scott attempted to pull his rank over him and failed. It seemed there was only one man the Cajun was taking orders from.

"Remy… please talk to us." Rogue called. She had calmed down enough to speak to him.

"Don't you talk to him!" Snapped Ororo- she pushed herself out of Jean's embrace and advanced on Rogue, "you are never allowed to talk to him again! He is broken… he's ," She was sobbing again as the realization hit her. "He's gone and we may never get him back. My brother is gone." Jean wrapped her arms around her friend once more as she sobbed.

"We will find a way to free him from this, 'Ro." Logan said as he also tried to comfort her.

"Good Luck!" Creed bared his teeth at Wolverine as he walked into the laboratory. He looked at Remy and smiled at him. "Hey pup." Gambit's eyes slid over to Creed them back to the cage. "Don't you love Gambit 2.0? So much less annoying than before!" Sabertooth laughed at the X-Men's discomfort.

"Let it be known Sabertooth that when we get out of here I will personally make you suffer for what you did to him." Warren seethed to the large man.

"Whistling a different tune now little birdie? And what do you think I did to him?" Creed stood next to Remy and grinned like the Cheshire cat. "After dragging his frozen ass out of Antarctica with Sinister I think I have really helped him out. I've taken him under my wing, so to speak." To emphasize his point he carelessly threw his arm around Remy's shoulders.

Logan growled at the nauseating display, "Snap out of it kid, you hate that slime as much as I do."

"Maybe before he did, but now we get along just fine. Right, Gambit?" Remy didn't answer the man, once again his eyes went to Creed then back to the X-Men.

"You are so dead, Creed. I am personally freezing your ass solid." Bobby yelled to the large man as he gripped the bars of the cage. Creed growled and walked to the prison. He reached in and grabbed Iceman before he could get away from the bars.

"Good then Remy and I will have more in common." He pulled the young man's face into the cage, then released him. "Yet again the X-Men live by their double standard." Creed walked around them slowly. "I am the evil piece of shit huh? Fine, I like that title anyways. But lets get one thing straight, I didn't leave his ass behind in that kind of hell. You did. And don't give me that we thought he was dead bull." He looked at the team, sneering. "Or he wanted to be ditched there. He was there for five days and you didn't even think once to go back for him."

Betsey looked at Gambit during Creed's speech. His eyes stayed straight ahead but his brow started to crease in confusion? Or maybe that was pain. In shame she lowered her head, it was true. Everything that Sabertooth was saying was true, they did wrong by their teammate. A thought occurred to her and her head shot up- Remy had just shown an emotion! Maybe he was concurring the microchip. His eyes glazed over and again his face was emotionless once more. Maybe not.

"Did you know that since his eyes are all freaky that the snow almost blinded him?" Creed smiled at the X-Men. "Or that he had to eat the plastic off of the wires in the base to survive?" He stopped in front of Logan drinking in his anger. "Or that when he saw me and Sinister come into the base he thought the devil and his hound of hell had come for him? After he realized it was a different demon he tried to kill himself but by then it was too late. So yeah- I am a low life SOB, but hey- at least I didn't leave behind my own." Sabertooth laughed at the tears streaming down Rogue's face.

"Having fun, Victor?" Sinister asked as he walked into the lab. He took in the scene around him silently and smiled at Gambit's attention to him. Truly he was a genius for being able to program the thief to be his slave.

"Immensely." Creed smiled.

"Wow a word with three syllables. Don't hurt yourself." Beast mumbled as he inspected Bobby's forehead.

"LeBeau- Come." Remy almost instantly appeared in front of the doctor. Creed smiled at the display of control and jumped on top of a table, sitting down and watching the show. "Did the prisoners attempt any escape efforts?"

"No sir." Gambit replied.

"Good. Take off your shirt and lie down." Remy quickly stripped the tight black top off and lay down on a medical slab. A pillow and sheet where set aside for the thief, apparently he was to stay the night in the laboratory. The X-Men watched as Sinister measured out a vile of medication and gave a shot to Remy.

"What are you giving him?" Beast asked unable to keep his curiosity in check. Sinister was silent as Remy's eye lids slid shut. The doctor started to scan Remy's head with a small electronic device, and recorded some information. He then produced some vials and gave Gambit more shots. After a few more routine tests he pulled the sheet up to his patients chest and dimmed the lights.

"Good night X-Men. I will see you in the morning."


	3. Chapter 3

When Warren woke the next morning, or what he assumed was morning, his mood had not improved. Collard, wings bound, and stuck in a cage with no plans for escape sucked. Then again it could be worse- he eyes drifted to the still figure laying on the medical bed. Science had jumped in amazing leaps and bounds- lives could be saved and apparently ruined as well by this new technology. Sinister had helped Gambit, even Warren couldn't blame him for saying yes to Essex's help. He couldn't imagine what it would be like not to eat or sleep or even open your eyes for days on end. But what that monster had done in exchange, implanted a mind control chip into someone's brain…

Could he ever be fixed? How could the X-Men save someone from their own mind? Warren's eyes went back to Remy LeBeau lying on the bed- what horrors had he seen that made him silence himself to his own friends, his team?

"Other wise it's a gamble…" he looked at her lips. Her plush, beautiful, deadly lips. His eyes could still trace the curves and contours of the perfection of her mouth. His nose still breathed in her natural perfume- the scent that made him sigh in ecstasy. His tongue could still taste her sweet flavor His fingers felt her soft luscious hair as unique and beautiful as she. His heart could still feel the echoing hole she punched through it with her soft silky voice.

"I said I wouldn't let you die in there." His knees felt as though they had been torn open with a razor, why was he still kneeling in the ice? Gambit tried to pull himself up and only fell down again, that's right- he couldn't find the strength to stand.

How could this happen? How could everything fall apart so easily? How could he have done what Sinister told him- No don't think about it, he told himself. He couldn't go back down that path right now. He needed food, warmth, shelter, transportation, forgiveness…

His breath caught in his throat, please he begged, please don't go out. Remy almost cried as the small fire he built gave up on its existence. If only his desperation was enough to sustain his only resource of warmth. Gambit silently counted his blessings, he had been able to melt some snow into water, that at least would save some of his energy. He had found a parka to wear and he could keep it warm by charging it. Alright so two blessings wasn't the best, but it was a start. Gambit sighed again, he was so tired.

"…Home? You have no home…" How long had he been in the citadel now? Three or four days he guessed. This part of the artic was like a dessert, minimal rain fall, harsh weather. How he wished someone would come back. He knew it could not be Rogue, she would never come back for him. If he could only find someplace to rest maybe he could get his strength up, but it was too cold to sleep and his strength was leaving him.

He gnawed on a tough rubber bit, as a street rat he had eaten worse, how fitting that he had come back to this. To rise from a street urchin, to the prince of thieves, a murderer, a hero and now back to a low life scum only delaying it's inevitable doom. Death was lurking closer and closer to him. He could feel the bone chilling grip on his mind, but he still fought. Remy always fought.

"So what's the plan, boss?" Bobby whispered to Scott as he joined the mini huddle they had.

"So what he can surmise is that we have been here for at least 12 hours most likely closer to 16, which means that team B will be assembled shortly and attempt a rescue."

"Your plan is sit and wait?" Bobby almost yelled. He was shushed by the rest of the team and his eyes flew to the man asleep on the medical table. Everyone held their breath for a moment but it seemed as though Gambit was still unconscious. "Oops, sorry." Iceman chuckled nervously.

"As I was saying, with Excalibur all recently disbanded, Colossus, Shadowcat and Nightcrawler will all be assisting in our rescue. Since I don't think Cannonball, Marrow, and Bishop will be able to do it on their own."

"So the plan really is to wait!" Bobby exclaimed. Once again he was shushed and the X-Men turned around again to see if the commotion had awoken Remy. Jean practically screamed when she saw Gambit standing just inches from the bars, he was so silent no one had heard him approach the cage.

"Gambit!" Warren exclaimed, completely surprised by his close proximity.

"What are you doing here?" Gambit's half lidded eyes searched the cage and looked into each of their faces, had he not been seeing them before. Betsy realized what was different about his stare now- he actually looked into their eyes. Emotions were visible in them.

"Remy!" Storm gasped as he smiled softly at her.

Gambit blinked in confusion and rubbed his temple. "Hey Stormy, why are you…. Oh no." He looked up slowly, "I know why you be here."

"Gambit! Can you let us out?" Logan asked his friend quickly.

"But didn't I put you in there?" Remy nodded slowly. "Yeah I put you in. Why…? He'll be mad at me."

"Hurry before Essex comes back!" Jean pleaded

"Too late. Creed apprehend LeBeau before he hurts himself." Sinister glided into the room as Creed slowly stalked to Gambit. Remy looked confused, lost like a small child in the street. "Gambit stand down, do not fight Sabertooth."

Gambit shook his head and backed up slowly, "Non- I won't." Remy sidestepped the large mutant just in time. He ran fast in the process knocking a tray of medical supplies, a few of them scattered across the floor. With stealth and quickness that would have made Remy proud Storm reached over and grabbed a small metal tool and hid it in the hem of her belt.

"LeBeau!" Sinister bellowed at his thief. Gambit stopped and looked at the scientist.

"I'm sleeping." Remy laughed as though someone had told him a funny joke.

"Yes you are. Why don't you lie down, Remy? Go back to sleep." Sinister said with a surprising amount of patience. Creed stood by Gambit, arms outstretched but not touching him. Logan looked at his long time enemy with a perplexed expression, it seems he has wrangled in his share of sleepy Cajuns.

Remy looked at the bed then back to the cage. He knew those people. His eyes passed over a young woman with pretty green eyes and a white stripe in her hair. His eyes drifted to her lips, slightly parted, lush, beautiful. Gambit drew in a breath- shock written all over his face. He let out a choked sound, a cross between a sob and word, undistinguishable, then stumbled back and finally caught himself on the wall. After blinking a few times his eyes drifted to Sinister. There they stayed.

Dr. Essex sighed and shook his head, red eyes narrowing. "LeBeau, come here." Gambit walked straight to his side, watching him with dead red on black eyes.

"What just happened?" Beast called to Sinister. Essex carefully examined Remy, looking into each eye, shining a small pen light in them.

"Just a small problem we've been dealing with. I think I have found a way to rectify the situation, though."

"What's the problem, Dr. Essex?" Betsy asked in a calm tone. Her eyes watching him carefully.

"You want to know, Ms. Braddock, and I have no qualms in telling you." Sinister wanted to make it clear that he was the one in charge of the conversation. He walked away from Gambit satisfied that his technology was working properly. "Since my microchip controls Mr. LeBeau's conscious mind there are times when he is sleeping that he acts out. To counteract this I have been sedating him overnight, but it appears that the medication is starting to loose its potency. That or a recent disruption," his eyes skimmed over the X-Men, "in his routine has cause some psychological strain. So in layman's terms he is sleep walking."

"What are you thinking of doing to him to make it stop?" Jean asked Sinister, fearful for the answer.

"Its quite a simple procedure, really. I am going to start by returning his powers to full strength then replace the microchip with this device here." In the palm of Sinister's hand was a small metal box, half the size of a standard die.

"What does that do?" Warren asked Essex, his mouth had suddenly gone dry.

"It will take the place of the chip he has now. This has a higher capacity for more commands, now I can shut him down and start him up again."

"If you return his powers to full strength aren't you scared he will relapse to the state he was in before you reduced them?" Storm asked, concern written all over her face.

"It is a strong possibility, but with his emotions being suppressed I don't think it will be that difficult to control. Plus I will have the ability to shut his powers on and off." Sinister turned his back to the X-Men and started to sterilize multiple surgical tools.

"What does his emotions have to do with his power to blow stuff up?" Logan asked gruffly as he bared his teeth at the grinning Sabertooth.

"His emotions play a huge roll in his ability to charge objects with biokinteic energy." Dr. Essex looked at the X-Men's puzzled faces and finally explained. "His mutant powers are all intertwined."

"Powers?" Bobby asked surprised.

"Yes Iceman, powers. As in more than one. Although I cannot completely explain it, we already know that he has extremely powerful shields to protect his mind from mental probing, and an ability to influence people with a type of charm." He summoned Remy with a wave of his hand. "Lay down." Sinister had Remy lay on the table as Essex shaved the back of his head, then he cleaned the area with a solution as well as a part on Remy's arm. Gambit's eyes slid over to the X-Men and the saw something that every one of them recognized- fear. Gambit was scared, but he did as he was told.

Sinister hooked up an IV drip and his eyes started to feel heavy, but the fear remained. He could hear talking, arguing it sounded like, but he couldn't understand the words. Why were those people looking at him like that. The sharp teeth of the doctor made his skin crawl and not even looking at a gleaming pair of green eyes could make him feel better. Finally his eye lids drifted together and everything went dark.

He knew he was giving up, his powers had just about stopped all together. He had burrowed into a small corner in the city. His legs pulled tightly to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. He slid his sticky lids over his eyes and breathed out with a groan of pain. Gambit attempted to leave the citadel once but couldn't got further than a mile. His eyes had given up, deciding that everything should look like the beautiful white snow that surrounded him. He had blindly found this way back to the base, and here he stayed- defeated.

Everything looked white. Foggy like his thoughts. His body had stopped shaking, maybe he wasn't as cold as he thought he was.

"You don't have a home…"

His breath was slow. Deep breath in.

"Not with the X-Men…"

Breathe in slowly. Take your time, let it out. In again. Out. In.

"…and not with me."

Out.


	4. Chapter 4

The image in front of him became clearer every moment, hadn't his eyes been clouded a few moments ago. In front of him was a woman, a beautiful woman with a smile that could melt the snow that surrounded him. He smiled back at her, unsure.

"Goodbye Pere." He looked at her oval face, she was young, maybe in her late 20's.

He knew she spoke his name, but he couldn't hear her voice. Her long auburn hair matched his, blowing in front of her soft hazel eyes. He knew there was a bright light around her, but his eyes didn't hurt, nothing hurt.

"Goodbye Henri, Tante Mattie. I have loved you all." He smiled at the mental image of his family. "I was so lucky to have you all in my life." Were his goodbye's spoken out loud? Or was he talking only to the mysterious woman who nodded encouragingly at him. Her arms wide open, beckoning.

She was reaching for him, he felt warm. His fingers, cold and frozen, lifted to hers. Closer. Almost touching.

Gambit's head quickly shot up. What was that sound? The woman was gone. Who was she? And why was she so familiar? There it was again.

He knew this time he heard something. Footsteps? Voices? They had come back. He knew that his team wouldn't let him die like this. Gambit slowly poked his head out of his parka and started to stumble to the center of the city. He needed them to find him. Remy tried calling for help a few times but his voice came out as a chocked whisper. He could almost feel them coming closer to his location.

Remy blinked his eyes a few times, they were stinging with tears of relief. The X-Men had come back for him, he would live. His red and black eyes searched the open hall and finally fell on two large figures. He squinted and blinked but still couldn't make the image clear, he saw red eyes and a lot of hair, golden. Who had yellow hair?

His mind suddenly darkened. Red eyes, the devil. Satan had come to take his own home to the fiery pits of hell. Realization of his doom hit him and he slumped to the ground. "The devil has come for me… I must have died." He mused out loud to himself.

"Not yet, runt." Gambit's head shot up with shock- that voice.

"Remy LeBeau." Dr. Essex said in greeting. Mr. Sinister saw Remy start to panic, sometimes his presence did that to people.

Gambit was scared out of his mind. Death was fine, the devil would have been welcomed, but Mr. Sinister was the worse possible scenario he could have ever imagined. The reason for his damnation would also try to salvage him? No, maybe he would be merciful and kill him quickly. Remy hoped that was what this madman had planned and he would not try to fight or bargain for his life. He was dying a traitor and murderer he would not go out as a desperate sniveling pathetic excuse for a man. His papa had taught him better than that, his years on the streets had taught him better than that.

Remy stood and backed up slowly, he could see the two shadowy villains come closer to him. If he turned his head to the side and looked out the corner of his eye he had a clearer visual.

"C'mon LeBeau, just get your frozen butt over here and we can get out of this wasteland." Creed snarled at the scared thief. Gambit continued to move away slowly. He even tried to resist when Creed grabbed him and dragged him to the doctor. Gambit was on his tender knees in front of the man who haunted his worse nightmares. He was barely able to hold himself up but he turned a defiant eye to Sinister, cursing him with his stare only because his voice could not.

"Hello Remy. How wonderful to see you again, I hope you have been well these past few years." Sinister started with a sick smile, Remy's stomach churned, bile rising in his throat. "Was your time with the X-Men amusing? I hope it was because it is over now. You are to come back and resume your service to me."

"Non- you kill me now, I will never do what…" his voice failed him again. He dug his fists into the floor, trying to stay conscious.

"You say that as if you have a choice, young man. You will do as you're told as soon as I repair the implant I placed in your brain." Implant? Wasn't he supposed to get something out of his head, not put something in it.

"What are you talking about, homme?" He was sick and tired of this, why wouldn't his torture end?

"During your surgery I had placed a chip into your brain to control your thoughts, make you do what I wanted. Unfortunately it shorted out during your mission to the Morlock tunnels. Now I will be able to reboot the microchip and have you under my control again." Sharp teeth gleamed in the low light, not that Gambit could see the mad scientist in all his evil glory.

"You mean, I wasn't in control of my own actions?" Remy stumbled over the words as they fell from his lips. He began to cry and chuckle at the same time.

"He's lost it." Creed said to the doctor. Essex nodded once and turned to open a portal to his laboratory. Just as Sabertooth reached down to pick up Remy he noticed his clothes starting to glow, he was charging them. "Essex!" Sinister turned to Remy and grimaced in anger.

"You will not destroy yourself, LeBeau." Sinister pulled Gambit up by his hair until his toes were struggling to hold himself up. "You are mine now, accept it." Due to Remy's weakened state the charge fizzled out with no affect, he could no longer fight. Sinister opened a portal and the three of them left the frozen hell Remy had been condemned to.

"Why are you stopping now, Sinister? Are you finished?" Scott called to the scientist as he scrubbed out of surgery.

"No, Mr. Summers, I am not in a hurry to complete this task. I want it perfect, not sloppy." Sinister said as he pushed Remy's sweaty bangs out of his face. "Besides, I want to make sure his powers are fully restored before I compete the second phase of the surgery, that way I can adjust his power accordingly, if needed, the second time I open his skull again." Essex explained to the man. After he recoded a few more tests he injected something into the IV drip attached to Gambit's arm.

A few moments later Remy's eyes started to flutter then open. He looked about the room quickly, then turned his attention to Dr. Essex. Before his eyes only shown submission, now there was anger, hatred, and the scariest of all- defeat. Sinister double checked the straps and chains that held his captive down, satisfied he addressed the man.

"LeBeau, I have collared you to keep your recently restored mutant powers contained. I will return shortly to ensure that the surgery was indeed a success. Any questions before I depart?" Remy only narrowed his eyes and shook his head side to side. "Creed will be along shortly to watch the prisoners. Do not try anything stupid, my boy. You know it will not end well for you" After that the doctor left.

"Brother? Can you hear me?" Remy was silent even though his eyes were wide open. She tried again, "Brother? Please Remy answer me."

"Don't call me that." His voice was harsh, his Cajun accent strong once more.

"Don't call you what? Remy?" Storm asked her eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

"No. Brother." His answer was short and hurtful. "I'm not that to you, not anymore."

"Gambit, we know that you were under Sinister's control during the massacre. We don't blame you." Scott told the bound mutant. Jean patted Ororo's shoulder, being the silent comfort she desperately needed.

His sharp laugh cut through the air, but no one said anything funny. "You don't blame me? _You_ don't blame _me_? Well thanks a bunch, oh fearless leader."

Wolverine tried next, "Look kid, we know they messed with your mind. We are going to get you home-"

"Home?" Remy's eyes flashed with anger as the collar on his neck blinked steadily. His blazing red eyes turned to Rogue and locked with her tear-filled green ones. "I have no home." She choked out a sob.

"Remy please, forgive me. Please." Rogue pleaded to the man as the X-Men looked on stunned.

"Never." He looked away from the cage. Gambit refused to show them his emotions.

"C'mon Gambit," Iceman started, "She really didn't mean to do that you know, it was because she absorbed your thoughts and stuff."

"Didn't mean to do what exactly? Blind me? Give me frostbite and hypothermia? Kill me?" His voice was accusing to all the X-Men, "Or did she not mean to gift wrap me to the one person in this world who makes my blood run cold with fear?" Beast's jaw clenched, and Bobby opened his mouth and closed it again. How could anyone answer Gambit?

"Did she not mean for me to be turned into a mindless slave? Or was it that she didn't mean to give her enemy a powerful weapon?" Hatred radiated off his body, "Which one is it?" No one answered, their shame answered their past teammates accusations. "Hm?"

"We will get you out of here and make it up to you." Warren promised Remy, "if it's the last thing I do, I swear it." He almost couldn't believe the emotional pull he had to the man he once hated. After being used by Apocalypse, ArcAngel knew what it was like to be manipulated to the point of no hope, but if he could over come that then so would Gambit.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, homme. So you get me out of here, then what? You think Sinister will stop? You think he wont come for me?"

"We will protect you, Remy." Betsy held Warren's hand, knowing this was upsetting him.

"Furthermore, Psyloche, what makes you think I want to be with you people?"

"What?" Jean whispered in disbelief. "Gambit, you cannot stay mad at us forever."

"Its past mad, Jean." His eyes narrowed, "or should I say Phoenix? No one ever turned you away for all the evil shit you did. Or when Angel went and kissed Apocalypse's boots, you all took him back with open arms. Same with Rogue, a known terrorist and murderer, no one bats an eyelash at that, but me? Manipulated and desperate and not only am I turned away, but I'm left in a frozen wasteland."

"Remy-" Beast started but was cut off by Gambit's angry speech.

"No food, no clothes, or hope of rescue. Worse than being put to death, I had to wait and wait and wait for it. Do you know what its like to-" He stopped. Even if he could describe what it was like to come to terms with your own death, and then to be dragged to a hell that you did not deserve, he knew he couldn't explain it to them. Words would never convey his true feelings or thoughts about his horrific experience.

"You gave me back to the one man that haunts my dreams. Every dark shadow I see- it's him. He took my soul from me before and now he has control of my body and mind. I will never be free from him. I will never be at peace with myself. And I will never ever forgive the X-Men." Silent tears slid from his eyes as he shut them, closing off any further communication between the captives and himself.

Hey all! please review! Thanks for stopping by! :)


	5. Chapter 5

Silence.

That was the only thing the X-Men heard. They could not hear any other noise around them now. The shatter of Gambit's heart had happened long ago, the pieces laying frozen cold somewhere in the arctic. Ororo opened her tear filled eyes and looked at her teammates. She had lost the most important person in her life, her own brother. He had saved her, taught her, then let her grow up again within a short amount of time. She did not know everything about his past but she trusted him, and in his hour of need, his most bottom moment she let him down. Instead of supporting him she turned her back, only concerning herself with her own pain. The shame she felt now was so heavy it hurt to breathe.

"I will not have this be the end of us, Remy. I had lost faith in you once, and I was so wrong. I will not let you down a second time." Her regal voice echoed through the lab. If Gambit heard her declaration he did not respond, he just lay there. Storm pulled the small metal tool from her waist and began picking the lock on Wolverine's restraints. It took some time, but she finally unlocked one, then went to work on the other. After both cuffs were discarded on the ground Logan began freeing his fellow teammates from the collars that subdued their mutations.

"Okay people," began Scott, "We are going to free ourselves of this cage then get Gambit and send a transition to our fellow X-Men. Hopefully they will be able to come to our aid as soon as possible."

Gambit snorted. He did not want to help them, but then he also did not want them here with him, a constant reminder of his pain. "You are still in the same base. Your friends should be here soon, and when they get here, just go. The Marauders are expecting them too, so make a run for it. Don't try to save me, don't' talk to me, or look at me, just leave and don't come around here no more." Remy said then turned his face away from the cage.

Wolverine snarled and started to thrash at the cage's bars, his claws cutting through them easily. "That isn't the plan, bub. I wasn't there when you were ditched in the snow, but I sure as shit ain't ditching you here. Like it or not your part of the team and we're getting your ass out of here. Together."

"I'd like to see you try, runt." Creed growled at Logan from the doorway. The two feral men glared at each other for a long moment then Creed jumped to Logan, his claws slashing violently. Scott ran to Remy's side and blasted away the binds that held him down on the medical bed.

"C'mon Gambit, I know you don't want to stay here." As Remy was preparing to tell Cyclops to leave a young woman pushed through the solid metal wall.

"No one wants to be here, Cyc." Kitty Pride smiled at her friends and stuck her arm back through the wall this time pulling Colossus with her. "Lets go, Nightcrawler is in the X Jet waiting for us and Bishop, Marrow, and Cannonball are creating a diversion." Logan stabbed Creed with his claws and Rogue punched him so hard he hit the ceiling becoming unconscious after he fell to the floor.

"Alright kid, let's go." Wolverine said to Gambit as he stood and backed away from the X-Men. Remy clenched his jaw in frustration. He hated the fact that they were right. If he stayed here there would be no hope for freedom. He would be Sinister's puppet once more, but now his mutant powers were increased- he shuttered at the thought . What horrible plans did the mad scientist have for him?

"The jet is on the surface?" Gambit asked Shadowcat.

"Uh- yeah, its beside the Greenvalley Field entrance." Gambit seemed to know where that was and nodded once.

Without another word Gambit went to the door Creed had entered from and began the escape from Mr. Sinister's laboratory. He led them down a wide brightly lit hallway then took a sharp right. As they followed the collard mutant Shadowcat spoke into a communicator, alerting the others the rescued mutants were on their way to the Jet and they should do the same. Remy jumped over the unconscious body of Vertigo and Harpoon then turned left and ran up a flight of stairs. Once he pushed the door open the X-Men found themselves in a large field, grass long dead, only dirt and dust remained. The plane was close to the hidden doorway, the ramp down waiting for its cargo.

Jean immediately ran to the jet and got it ready to lift off, Gambit was not far behind her. He had to manuver around Riptide as Warren picked the man up in mid-flight then dropped him with a sick thud. Psyloche fought Prism, stabbing the villain with her sword as Remy neared the ramp. Without warning a blast of energy exploded in front of Gambit's feet, causing him fall and skid to a stop.

"LeBeau!" Sinister's voice cut through the brisk dusk air like a bullet. In fear Remy crouched, his legs curled under his body, ready to push up in a moments notice. Red eyes locked onto Remy's face- rage seething from the scientist. If Gambit wasn't scared enough with the look of pure malice on Sinister's face, the shark like smile he wore caused Remy's blood to freeze in his veins. As Essex opened his mouth to say something a powerful blast from Cyclops's eyes barreled him over, and Logan pulled Remy from the dirt.

"C'mon." Logan half dragged the stunned Cajun into the plane. Iceman froze Sinister solid as Storm electrocuted Scalphunter, one of the last remaining Marauders. Jean began to lift the plane into the air, sending Nightcrawler teleported Bobby and Marrow onto the jet.

"Is that everybody?" Colossus asked as he did a headcount. Scott nodded to the large metallic man, and with one last look at Remy he went to the cockpit to help his wife fly home. Gambit stood awkwardly in the jet, his eyes looking over everyone on the plane.

"Hi, I'm Sam." the young man stuck his hand out to Gambit. Remy looked at it. "So… who are you?" Cannonball tried to remain polite.

Gambit regarded him silently then stated, "The less you know of me, homme, the better. For your sake." He carelessly dropped into a chair and looked out the window. "Malheur à vous si vous ne, malheur si vous n'avez pas." Remy muttered to himself.

Shadowcat looked between the stranger and Storm, her friend close to tears. "Wait- are you Gambit?" There was a moment of silence. Kitty looked from the man to Rogue who also appeared grim. Rogue looked at Kitty and nodded. "I thought you died away after the Shi'ar thing." Remy looked up suddenly, staring into the young woman's face.

"Died?" He asked her slowly.

"Perhaps, Kitty, now is not the time to discuss-" Beast's voice of reason trailed off at LeBeau's pointed stare at him. Kitty shifted nervously and looked at Storm again.

"Yes, sir, that's what the files said. When the base started to explode you were unable to make it out, you were assumed dead."

"Remy-" Warren tried to calm the man down in a soothing tone.

"That is true, I did die. Now leave me alone." He was crushed. Remy LeBeau thought that the X-Men had taken everything away from him. He was sure that they could no longer hurt him- that he was too far gone to be phased by their betrayal. He was wrong, so wrong. This information shook him to the core, his heart felt as if every pump of blood was a labored task. A long shaky breath drew itself into his lungs- had he been holding his breath?

He thought maybe Rogue was lying about him being gone to cover her own ass. Maybe she had told the team they parted ways some point before she returned home. Maybe she had made up a lover's quarrel or a secret mission for him to complete for his father. But to say he died was like adding salt to the wound she had cut open. How low could that woman sink? Did the love they share mean absolutely nothing to her? How could anyone with an ounce of compassion commit murder like that? Why hadn't anyone questioned her?

"You did not die Gambit. You are still you." Warren said to the thief. Remy just shook his head, his lips pursed together.

"We were so wrong, Gambit," Betsy said to the red eyed man. "We should have-"

"Did anyone go back for my body?" Silence was his answer. "Or notify my family that I died?" He looked at each face, searching for the shred of hope he didn't know he still carried.

Kurt appraised the X-Men slowly. "If you believed him dead why did you not notify me? It is standard that I preside over any memorial service." He looked at their eyes but none of them would meet his gaze. "If I didn't do the service, who did?"

"How did this happen, Logan?" Colossus asked the short Canadian.

"We messed up royally." Iceman stated.

The former Excalibur team looked at each other confused. How could the X-Men do that to their own member? "I am shocked by this, my friends." Piotr shook his head saddened by this development. The plane was silent for a few long moments. No one knew how to speak to Remy, everything was already said. Without meaning to the X-Men had completed their betrayal.

"Do I even have a grave stone?" His eyes looked to Logan, his one time friend. When the man looked down to his feet Gambit had his response. Ignoring any other words exchanged by the X-Men Remy turned away from them and looked out the window, staring at the white clouds in the sky.

xxx

Gambit opened his eyes to pointed teeth and black tar lips. How he wished he was still blind, this way he would not see the scientist staring down at him. Essex raised his hand over Remy's face causing him to jolt his head away and push himself into the corner of the cell he was in. There Remy looked at the man, the heavy collar on his neck bobbing with each shaky breath the prisoner took.

Essex towered over the man who tried to sink into the floor, attempting to get as for as possible for his walking nightmare. He put his arms behind his back and looked at Gambit for a long moment. "I suppose your wondering what I will do now." Red on black eyes stared at the man, he would not trust his voice. Essex chuckled. "Since you are almost completely healed I think it is time for me to reactivate the chip I repaired" Mr. Sinister stalked around the cell slowly, not moving closer nor farther away from the scared man.

"How long have I been here?" Remy whispered his question, never taking his eyes away from his enemy.

"Over four months now. Why?" Sinister smiled that ugly bone chilling smile. "Did you think they would come, LeBeau?"

No. He didn't think the X-Men would come, but it did not mean that he wouldn't hope it. It had been a hellish ordeal. After being on the brink of death from the extreme cold only to be nursed back to health from the most evil man in existence would wear a person down. His heart had been broken when she flew away, his body had been broken by the snow, and his mind had been broken by the evil scientist many years ago. But Gambit still clung to his soul, the soul he had been convinced up until a short time ago that he no longer had. Because of that no matter when happened he would never let it go.

Since Sinister didn't get an answer he continued on the conversation as if Gambit was an active participant. "Once your body is completely healed from your straggling ailments, and you are up to my standards physically I will reestablish your mutant powers as they were before I diminished them in the first surgery."

Shock was written on Remy's face. "Que? Non- you can't. I will blow up everything."

"Haven't you learned by now, Remy, that I can do whatever I want. Without your consent" Essex eyes burned. "I will continue on as planned but by then you will be completely under my power therefore you will not loose control of yours." Tears stung the younger man's eyes.

"What- what will it be like to be under… to have that thing…" He couldn't even complete the sentence.

"You will do anything I ask you to, you will be unable to fight it."

"Will I be aware of… will I know what's happening?"

Sinister smirked. "Let's find out." Gambit looked up into Sinister's face. He saw his lips move, he spoke string of words together that didn't have any meaning, but had all the power in the world.

xxx

They were silent until the plane reached the mansion. Once it touched down no one went to disembark from the trip for a few moments then silently one by one they filtered out. Gambit was the last to leave stating he wouldn't trust his back to anyone present.

He got off the ramp and looked around the room, he had never felt so horrible in his life. Gambit took a deep breath in and sighed. Xavier was in the hanger waiting, he looked at Remy, surprised, but was quickly filled in by Jean telepathically. Kitty was standing the closest to him, she laid an uncertain hand on his shoulder only to get a glare from the man.

"Well at least let me take this off." Kitty had laid her hand on Remy's collar and phased it off his neck. Remy looked shocked at her movements and his eyes were wide with fear.

"Kitty- no!" Betsy yelled but it was too late, the collar was off of Gambit's neck. He groaned and slumped to the ground instantly. As soon as he opened his eyes they blazed in a vibrant fuchsia color and he screamed as the full force of the power hit his body


	6. Chapter 6

'Remy…' A voice. He was sure he heard one. The voice cutting through the pain. Cutting through the pops and crackles of his power. Through the desperation his heart echoed. 'Remy concentrate. Remy…' He heard crying, sobbing, screaming. He was lost in the pain. Palms covered his own eyes, hands and sight scared to scorch anything. His lips quivered and shook. Nails dug into his scalp, 'Gambit. Stay strong. Pull the charge back to your own body and we will collar you again.' That's right, pull it in. Breath in, pull in, breath, pull. He opened his eyes, oh God what a mistake, something blew up, he cried.

Please God, please make it stop. Bring it in. Finger nails dug into flesh, in, in, in, breath, in. Heavy metal weighed on his neck, pain gone. Tired now. Thank God. He hadn't remembered falling to his knees, but now he slammed onto his back and let out a sigh of relief.

"Brother, are you alright?" a hand was laid on his shoulder. He jerked away and quickly stood.

"Don't touch me!" Gambit hissed out between clenched teeth. His skin felt hot and his knuckles still echoed the pain he felt from holding back the charge. Slowly he opened his eyes and met the shocked faces of his former teammates. Iceman had been in charge of minimizing the burning from the explosion he caused. He looked at the damage, not as bad as he imagined.

"Oh my God." Beast breathed out. "Remy…" Gambit looked at the man, angry.

"What?" He snapped.

"I am shocked at your power." Said the doctor, "We all are."

"Why didn't you ever tell us, Gambit?" Cyclops asked, "Why keep that a secret?"

"Maybe now isn't the time to talk about it, Scott." Xavier said to the leader. "Remy, we have much to discuss. Would you like to rest now and we can talk this evening?"

Gambit gave the older man a look that summed up his feelings. "You really think I have anything to say to you? To any of you?"

"Would you at least allow us to explain?" Jean asked Remy cautiously.

"Explain? Oh that should be good. What could you possibly say?"

Kitty gasped as Remy turned his head in Jean's direction. "Gambit! You're bleeding!" His hand found the surgical cut at the base of his skull, the stitches had reopened and blood was oozing out of the wound. He must have knocked the stitches when he fell onto the floor.

"Merde." Remy swore as he felt the sting of the cut.

"You must allow me to clean the wound, Gambit." Beast said as he slowly approached the thief. "It is very important that I disinfect the area." Remy's fingers were coated in blood. He knew he needed it cleaned; a cut that close to the brain was dangerous if it was left untreated.

"Non- I go to a regular hospital." He felt the blood drip down his back. 

"Sure." Logan said, " or better yet, lets just bring you back to Sinister. He will probably take care of it for you." Gambit glared at the man, knowing he was right. Essex would be able to get him quickly and with no resistance if he was to leave the mansion.

"Ha! The X-Men bring me back to the devil, what else is new? 'Sides I don't want any of you touching me" Remy stated firmly.

"Then allow me to assist you." A woman he had ever met before said to him. He looked at her, her warm brown eyes meeting his. She had probably come into the hanger after the explosion.

"Don't know you, who you be?" He asked her as she fully stepped into the room.

"My name is Cecilia Reyes. I am a doctor and I can sanitized the wound."

"I don't trust any of you: X-Men." He eyed her up and down.

"Luckily I am not an X-Man." She told him. "Follow me." She left and with one last glare Gambit followed the woman.

xxx

"Please Dr. Essex, I can get you the money." The man pleaded to the seated doctor.

Essex was sitting in a large chair in the middle of a sitting room. Remy stood behind him in the shadows, an ever present threat to anyone who entered. "You said that last time you were here, Mr. McKinney, and yet you did not deliver." He sipped his red wine. "How do I know you will bring it to me next time?"

Mr. McKinney shifted on his feet nervously. "Please sir, I was unable to raise the rest of the money. I can if you give me a little more time…"

"More time? I saved your wife's life and you are asking me for an extension? All you are doing is wasting my time, very valuable time."

"I know Doctor." He pleaded. Too late had McKinney realized he made a deal with a dangerous man, all to save the love of his life.

She was his everything, her beautiful blond hair, warm chocolate eyes, and a smile that made his stomach flip. To Dale, she was everything that ever mattered in the world. Then one night she fell ill and was never able to recover from it. He watched as countless tests were conducted, many doctors promising him recovery only to be slapped in the face with defeat once more. She was slipping through his fingers. Finally, he turned to Dr. Essex, a dangerous man with a large fee.

The doctor had brought her back from a certain death, but now she was cold, indifferent, and distant. The kind hearted woman he knew was gone and replaced with something… sinister. She had recently left him, taking any money from their accounts and selling all the possessions in the house. Her cold eyes told him his wife had died from her illness.

"I am tired of this." Sinister waved a hand for Gambit. The thief obediently came to him. "Kill him." Gambit advanced on the shocked man, he backed away slowly but had no where to run to. Within a few moments, Dale McKinney lay on the ground, his neck twisted in an awkward angle. Remy looked down at him- his face emotionless. His eyes went back to Nathan Essex.

"Very good Gambit. What did that feel like?" Sinister grinned at him, a cat pawing an injured mouse.

"Feel like?" Confusion barely laced Gambit's voice.

"Yes, to kill that man. What did you feel when you killed him?"

Remy looked almost thoughtful, almost. Then he spoke. "Angry. Sad…. Powerful."

Sinister smiled.

xxx

"There. Done." Cecilia said to the man on the table. He had taken off his blood soaked shirt and exchanged it for a zip up jacket. "That is not an ordinary wound, it's a surgical cut, very recent. What happened?" She removed her gloves and put them into a waste bin.

Gambit looked at her and sighed. He could hate the X-Men all he wanted to, but she did nothing to him. She helped him. She was even kind and gentle- talking about herself while he gritted his teeth from the pain. She grew up in the Bronx, had an older brother, and was half Latina and half black. "This doctor took something out of my head and I guess he put it back in."

"You guess?" She watched him for a moment, confused.

Gambit smirked at the woman, "Why is this twenty questions for me, huh? Why don't you tell me something, what happened here?" Remy gestured to the almost empty medical lab.

"Operation: Zero Tolerance." Dr. Reyes got a blank stare in response to her statement. "The anti-mutant strike force. They have been in the paper and on the news. It is a special FBI funded unit that has one goal: ruin any mutant's life. Where have you been? Living under a rock?" She shot out her hip and rested a hand on it.

Gambit blinked at her, "No, just didn't have time for TV or news." He took a breath. "If you ain't an X-Man, why are you here?"

"Isn't my turn to ask a question?" She retorted.

"You did ask a question and I told you I hadn't watched TV recently." Remy smirked as his statement sunk in but he turned his palm up, a motion for her to proceed.

"Ha ha." Cecilia said sarcastically, "Ok then, what's with the collar?"

"Did you hear that explosion in the hanger?" She nodded. "That's why I wear a collar. So, why are you here if you isn't an X-Man?"

"I am here because Zero Tolerance made it almost impossible for me to continue on in my job at the hospital, and I told Bobby I would stay here until I can figure out what my next plan will be. In the mean time I help the Professor refurbish the medical bay to its former glory. Now- my turn. If your not an X-Man why are you here?" Cecilia Reyes echoed Gambit's former question.

Remy's throat tightened and his eyes met hers, didn't she know. All the other's knew about his past- why didn't she? "Que?"

"Why are you here now? You obviously don't like any of the X-Men, why did they bring you here with them?" She asked again. Dr. Reyes shifted her weight onto her other leg, why was he looking at her like that.

"I was once an X-Man. Let's just say it didn't really work out." He didn't want to go into too much detail, the pain was too much already. Luckily the woman knew not to push him into answering. Their game was over.

xxx

"He doesn't trust us, sir." The winged man said as he turned away from the window. They had spent the last ten minutes debriefing the rest of the team about their time with Sinister.

Xavier nodded at Warren's statement. "And why should he? We have betrayed him in every possible way. Well there is nothing we can do about it now. All we can do is control our actions in the future."

"So we just have to be here for him now?" Rogue asked, unsure if that was all they could do.

"What about Sinister?" Bishop asked. He had been thoughtfully silent until now.

"We kill that murderer." Marrow said as she gritted her teeth in disgust.

"That isn't what I meant." Bishop said. "What I mean is-"

"What happens," a voice cut in from the doorway, "when he comes for me." Gambit's face was hidden in shadow, his eyes as dark as his mood.

"Yes…" Bishop stood still, sizing up the man as he entered the threshold. What more could LeBeau be hiding.

"We fight him." Logan stated, his answer obvious.

"And the marauders?" Gambit tested, disbelief prevalent in his voice.

"Yes!" Storm cried out.

"They will win, Sinister will win." Gambit stated gravely. "He will win against you. What then? Would you still defend me? Protect me?" Gambit's lips curled up in disgust and disbelief, "Die for me? A murderer. A thief." There was silence. Was he expecting more?

He looked at Cecilia and let out a breath. "Or will you hand me over? Non- that's like giving a psychopath a loaded gun, better you kill me now."

"Stop it!" Scott said, looking into the younger man's face. Gambit's eyes narrowed at the man's outburst but he remained silent. "I don't care if I die, I will do what is right. We let you down-" Scott corrected himself, "I let you down before, you deserved better than that. There are so many things that I want to change, all of us do. But we can't. All we can do is help you pick up the pieces and ask for your forgiveness."

Slowly Cyclops made his way to Gambit, the younger man visibly moved my his statement. "I am so sorry." Scott reached a hand onto Gambit's shoulder, laying it there cautiously. Their eyes met. An almost unspoken understanding passed between them. Gambit stood completely still as Scott pulled him into a tight hug.

"I am so very sorry."

Gambit's arms still lay limp at his sides, but he did not pull away


	7. Chapter 7

Logan sat with Gambit on the roof as the sun began to set. He smoked his cigar while Remy puffed on a long overdue cigarette. They were both silent. Remy was still upset that his room had been given away and most of his possessions donated. Thankfully Logan kept Remy's bike for the months he was gone, a reminder of the companion he had. Logan shifted slightly and looked at Remy's profile. As a part of the team why hadn't any of the X-Men gone back for him? Why hadn't he gone back for him? It was just over a month later when Wolverine learned about Gambit's death, too late to go searching for his friend. He had just assumed someone had already told his family, they were all too surprised to question Rogue's story. Anyone's story. All Logan wanted to do was forget that one of his close friends had died.

Gambit scanned the mansion grounds and took a deep drag from the cigarette. Countless question cycled through his head. Questions about his powers, questions about his future. Would he need to wear the collar for the rest of his life? How would he ever be free from Sinister? Why had the X-Men betrayed him over and over again? He knew he could not leave the mansion in fear of Sinister reclaiming him, but he couldn't stand to stay with the very people who put him into this horrible situation.

"Look, Kid…" Logan began awkwardly, taking a few moments to select his words. What could he possibly say to Remy LeBeau? How could the tension in his chest be relieved Gambit looked at him sideways and inhaled from his cigarette again, waiting for the man next to him to continue.

There was a long pause, "Oui?" Gambit asked after a moment.

"If you need something, or need to talk, you let me know. We can go down to the bar and have a beer. How long has it been since you've had an ice cold one?" Logan said lamely, man he wasn't good at this stuff.

Gambit shook his head and looked away, "That's ok homme."

"Its not good, ya know, to keep all that hurt inside. Sometimes it helps to talk about it."

"Sometimes it doesn't."

"Don't you have any questions? Or maybe-"

"Ok- lets talk about it." Gambit said, exasperated. "Don't give me any bullshit- I know that isn't your style. I just want the straight truth, no sugar coating it, oui?" Gambit locked eyes with Logan, making sure he would only speak the truth. "Why didn't you come and find me, Logan?"

"I was away from the mansion for over a month. When I came home I leaned about…" He trailed off.

"What did they say? What did the X-Men tell you about me?"

"They said…" Logan took a puff, "Look Gumbo…"

"No bullshit Logan, just the facts. What did they say about me?" Remy's eyes spat fire.

"They said that you had been involved in the massacre, that you assembled and led the marauders into the tunnels. You had betrayed us all."

"And about my death?"

"You died when the Arctic base collapsed. Couldn't search for your body because it caved into the ice."

"Who said that?" Logan hesitated, "Who?" Gambit demanded. He already knew the answer. He almost didn't 'want to believe it, such a horrible truth. But he needed to hear it from Wolverine. "Who?"

"Rogue did."

"Why didn't anyone tell my pere?"

"With O:ZT we were going crazy trying to get the mansion supplies back up, Scott had barely made it home alive, same with Xavier. Bishop was still somewhere in space and Excalibur had come to stay with us after the bulk of the team broke up. With all the confusion we over looked it." Gambit gave the man a hard stare. Logan sighed, "We were all so hurt by the betrayal. You had lived with us for years, been a part of the team. I guess a lot of us didn't go out of the way to think about it."

"Can't betray what you weren't a part of." Remy said to his one time friend. They were quiet again. Remy started another cigarette with a lighter, he hadn't had to use one ever since his powers kicked in.

"What will you do now, Remy?" Logan heard someone come up behind them, Gambit must have also because he looked past the Canadian and into a pair of emerald green eyes. The setting sun shone against her face giving her a beautiful glow. She stood awkwardly, looking only at her one time lover.

"Remy…?" Her soft voice floated through the air. "Can we talk?" Gambit snuffed the cigarette and walked past her.

"Remy- please?" She cried out after him and touched his arm. He grabbed her hand and swiftly twisted it behind her back, then shoved her hard into Logan's arms.

"I have nothing to say to you, nor do I want to hear anything you have to say." He continued till he reached the door to the stairwell. There Rogue called his name once more.

"Please, Remy. I feel horrible." She cried out. "I am so sorry. Its like nothing I can do or say will-"

"Ever make it okay? Yeah, cause guess what- it wont. There is no words or actions from you that will make it alright again." He took a step forward then on second thought turned back to her, "Taste of your own medicine I guess, karma. I felt all that guilt, all that pain, anguish, suffering, self-loathing for years from those poor souls. Now its your turn to feel it. Lucky you, its only me you feel guilty about."

He walked down the stairs, Rogue behind him, calling his name. "Remy, please! Just wait-" She still pursued him, not leaving him alone even after Wolverine told her to give it a rest. They had reached the lower floor. He didn't know where he was walking to, as long as it was away from her.

He gritted his teeth and turned to face her, the anger on his face caused her to step back. "You know what the worst part is, Rogue?" He spat out at her. They were drawing an audience. Logan was behind the woman but now multiple X-Men and Excalibur members filtered into the common area, making sure things did not get out of hand. Some wanted to help the tormented on again off again couple, some just wanted to help Gambit. "The worst part is that I don't think you would have ever told. You would have just gone along with the story that out of the goodness of your heart you tried to save the murdering piece of shit that I am, and you just couldn't." He composed himself knowing that he was letting his anger get the best of him. "I don't think you ever had the intention to tell them that you were executioner in my trial."

"You have to understand that your own thoughts were in my mind. I wanted to fight it but your own anger and self hatred made me leave you." Rogue truly had never felt so bad about anything in her life. She knew that she had been wrong, she should have done so many things differently. Her heart broke as she looked at the man in front of her, the once proud, strong, playful man had been replaced my a defeated, paranoid man. Rogue closed her eyes for a brief moment , remembering the anger and hatred she felt after she absorbed Remy, and how those shameful feelings slowly turned into her own.

Remy considered her words for a short moments then stated, "Funny how my thoughts never made me commit suicide." He shook his head. "You are not who I thought you were." Gambit glanced around the room at the people gathered, his one time family.

"I went and I searched for you." She said to him in a gentle voice.

"Too little too late."

"Please, Remy. If you ever loved me, you would look into your heart and forgive me." The room became cold and the air was thick with the shock of Rogue's statement. Logan shook his head, Jean covered her open mouth, and Bobby looked at Rogue and muttered something that sounded like, "You've got to be kidding…"

"If I ever loved you?" Remy repeated the words in disbelief. Rogue realized that she had said the wrong thing and tried to cover her tracks but it was too late. "If I ever loved you?" Gambit shouted, pure malice pouring from his lips. "The only reason you are hounding me for forgiveness is because now the X-Men and the Professor are looking at you for what you really are. Murderer."

Rogue shook her head but her eyes wandered to her teammates, searching their faces for a favorable response. She did not find one.

"Get the fuck out of my face before you really make me mad." Gambit clenched his fists, the collar on his neck the only thing keeping his powers from leveling the mansion.

Rogue was about to open her mouth when the Professor stepped in. "I think that is enough for now. It would be best if you allow Remy to cool down, that will also give you and the rest of us time to gather our thoughts." She nodded silently at the man the left the room without another word. "Remy I have prepared the room below for you."

"The dampening room?" He asked the professor. The room allowed the small space to be a place where mutant powers were inaccessible. Deep in the lower levels of the mansion it was usually used for dangerous prisoners. Most of the time only Xavier had any access to that level.

"Yes. That is the safest place for you. Also we can manipulate the strength of the power neutralizer allowing you to become accustomed to your increased mutation." Xavier spoke calmly, hoping Remy wouldn't take a defensive stance on the room used mostly as a prison cell. "May I accompany you, Gambit?"

"Oui." Gambit said to the man. Scott also followed so he could safely remove the collar from Gambit. Also Scott was the first X-Man to be able to affectively communicate with Gambit. Once they were in the elevator Xavier opened the conversation.

"I am glad you decided to stay here, Remy, until your powers are under control once more."

"Not that I really had a choice, prof." He said to the man. Gambit was angry at everything, but now he was too damn tired to fight back. He leaned his back against the elevator wall and closed his eyes. Both men allowed him the quiet as the reached the lowest level. They walked together in silence and gave time to Gambit to evaluate the cell. Usually bare it now had a bed, lamp, night stand and a small collection of books. The professor had opened up the door to the adjacent bathroom, toilet and shower included. And someone had thought to bring down a mini fridge that contained snacks and a few bottles of water.

"Remy, I know that there isn't anything I can say to make this any better." Gambit looked at the professor as Scott unlatched the collar. "I have let you down." Gambit took a breath as the heavy metal left his neck, rolling his head from shoulder to shoulder. "I want to apologized for what happened. For what we didn't do for you, should have done, out of the respect of the time you were part of the team."

Gambit nodded to the man, a silent acknowledgement of the apology. He walked to the bed and sat down on it. He hadn't had time to shower or wash up at all, and Cecilia said he couldn't wash his hair for at least 24 hours. Right now, however, a shower was the farthest thing from Gambit's mind.

"Well, Remy, we will let you rest. If you need anything you can call us from the intercom. Have a good evening." Scott and Xavier left Remy to rest in the silent room.

xxx

Rogue looked out the window, the dark sky mirroring her dark thoughts. She recalled the anger she felt at Erik the Red for forcing her to kiss Remy. She was furious at herself, at Erik and Remy. Mostly now she was angry at her own decisions. She really did mean it when she told Gambit that the love they shared was all they needed, but at the first true test of the love she bolted. Sighing Rogue went to the closet and started to search for a well hidden box. As she opened the cover the first thing she saw was a picture of the two of them together. Happy. A way they would not be ever again. She knew that now.

After digging through the contents of the box she pulled out a neatly folded letter she had written months ago. She unfolded the paper and read the words.

Dear X-Men,

I have done the most horrific thing anyone could ever imagine. I have betrayed us in every possible way, and even now I am too scared to take responsibility for my actions. I do not think that you will ever forgive me for what I have done, I don't think anyone could. I have murdered Remy LeBeau.

After we had the trail for Remy in Antarctica I was able to pull him from the citadel before it collapsed. We flew up together to the snow but instead of bringing him home I left him there. I left him kneeling there in the snow. I flew away from him, banishing him from a house that I had no authority over, from the family he had been accepted into. The family that may have been strong enough to do the one thing I could not, forgive him. I have searched for him countless times but I cannot find the city or Remy anywhere.

I didn't want to do that horrible action, but after I absorbed his thoughts in the trial all I could feel was his own self-hatred. The horrible feeling of guilt overwhelmed me and I dropped him, feeling some kind of atonement for his actions. I have betrayed us in the worst way, not only had I left a member of our own team to face a certain death I lied to you all about it. I have plunged a knife into the back of the one man I have ever loved and I twisted it by not accepting any punishment for what I had done.

When you find this letter I will already be gone. I will not try to contact you, I will not return. I am so sorry. I know that I cannot do anything to make it right once more. I have tarnished the name of the X-Men. As a team we accept anyone who believes in Charles's dream of peace between all people. I could not even make peace within our own home. I will not ask for forgiveness because I know it can never be given.

Rogue looked at her signature at the bottom on the page, tears were falling from her eyes. She had at one point tried to tell them about Remy, but she was too scared. She was scared of the looks on their faces as they found out the horrible truth. Rogue couldn't even tell them in the letter and leave, she didn't want them to hate her forever. She now understood perfectly why Remy never told them about his past.

xxx

Remy looked from the bayou to his father standing on his left side. His red eyes meeting the gentle worn eyes of the man who took him from the streets. He spoke to the him in a calm tone, using the Cajun Creole he learned as a child. They laughed together at a joke then fell into a comfortable silence, faint smiles still on their features. He loved the smells of his backyard, and the sounds of the animals running around. A bird called over head and swooped into a tree. The warm sun shone on his face and he closed his eyes, savoring the feeling as one would an expensive glass of wine.

"Toutswit." His father told him.

"Oui." Remy agreed. Maybe his papa had said something about dinner. The sun started to fade away and when he opened his eyes it was almost dark. Remy scanned the area once more, had they walked away from the grounds? "Ki ca di?" He asked his father but Jean-Luc had left him. He called out once, twice. Where could he have gone?

"Toutswit." Jean-Luc's voice echoed around the swamp. Remy called out again. He began walking to the house. Perhaps his father had called him from the porch as he did when Remy wandered too far from the house.

"Ca y na? Pere?" Remy yelled as the trees and the bayou seemed to stretch on for miles. Remy felt fear in the pit of his stomach as he picked up his pace. Looking back and forth he started running, yelling for his father the same way a child would. "Pere?" He yelled as he stumbled over a stump.

"Oui?" Jean-Luc looked at Remy, confused. He opened his arms with a smile on his face, one of love and laughter. "Laimm Twa, son. Come here."

Remy went to the man, feeling foolish and hugged him. Even as a grown man a hug from a loved one can do wonders for your heart. He felt his chest fill up with affection and reassurance. Remy made a mental note to tell tanti to stop making so many biegnets for his papa, he was beginning to bulk up.

"Toutswit." Remy's face scrunched in confusion, why did he keep saying that?

"Que?" Gambit pulled back from his father, but his shirt was gripped tightly, only allowing him an arm's length distance between the two men. Remy's teeth clenched together so the scream wouldn't escape him. Mr. Sinister stood looking at the young thief, Jean-Luc replaced by the horrible scientist. Remy struggled against the tight grip, but Sinister would not let him go.

"Toutswit." Sinister said through black lips. His burning red eyes glaring a whole into his very mind. His sick smile made Remy start to panic, almost falling completely if not for Sinister's hold.

"Toutswit."

Gambit sat up quickly, looking about the small room in a panic. His breathing was fast and labored. A dream he must have fallen asleep. Gambit hadn't even changed into a pair of pajamas. His mind processed to realistic dream as his body calmed itself from the adrenalin.

Toutswit.

Soon.

Louisiana Creole Key

Toutswit- soon

Ki ca di?- What's going on?

Ca y na?- What's wrong?

Laimm Twa- I love you


	8. Chapter 8

Hi! So sorry its been so long, but I was putting off writing because of the holidays and then after that I felt like I wanted to leave a super bomb chapter for you guys and it kept coming up as a dud! But super long overdue, here it is. A little jump to jump in small scene format but that is how it came about this time. Thanks again to everyone who reviewed I appreciate it greatly, and love all the follows! Makes me smile! Cheers!

"Alright, Remy. Lets take it nice and slow." Kurt said to the thief as they prepared to reduce the potency of the collar on his neck. Bishop was standing near Remy if he needed some energy to be reabsorbed and Bobby next to him to put out any explosion. This was the third day that Gambit agreed to work on his powers in the danger room. First time he had almost blown up the whole room, if not the whole mansion. Shortly after he tried again, this time keeping the bulk of his powers in. Now he took a deep breath and mentally calmed himself. Kurt's gentle voice cut through his inner mantra. "Ready?"

"I think so."

"Kitty if you would please reduce his collar." Kurt glanced to Cyclops then back to Remy. Gambit had his eyes closed, more from fear than concentration. Kitty dialed down the collar by fifteen percent. Remy remained calm as the power slowly seeped into his body, the familiar itch behind his fingers came back. God how he wanted a cigarette.

"Ok Remy, why don't you try to charge a card?" Scott suggested to Gambit. He knew this was hard on the young man. It had been a few days now, but Remy had mostly stayed in his room below the grounds, only coming up to smoke or get food. He hadn't spoken with a lot of people, Scott and Logan being the only few who were brave enough to approach the younger man. Cecilia and most of the Excalibur members had gotten onto Gambit's good side, but he still had his walls built up.

Gambit charged the card, the glow was sudden. Gambit pursed his lips together in concentration, it grew brighter.

"Good, can you pull it back in?" Kurt ask as Remy already began to pull in the charge. He let out a shaky breath as the card returned to its natural state. Gambit smirked as he turned the card over in his hands, success. He looked up and saw brown hair with a white stripe, she wasn't supposed to be here. His jaw clenched as he inhaled an angry breath.

Remy barely had time to release the card before it exploded. Gambit cried out in anger and pain as he looked at his hand, searching it for injury.

"Remy!" A feminine voice cut through the room but he turned his back to her.

Bobby put a hand on Rogue's shoulder, his eyes showing his sympathy for her. "Maybe you should wait outside, Rogue." After a moment she nodded and left the danger room.

"Damnit!" Gambit shook out his hand as he moved the fingers, it burned but he was fine.

"Are you alright?" Kitty moved to Gambit and turned the collar to full strength again.

"Oui, just a burn is all, I'll stop by the medical bay and get some burn cream." Remy left the room to go find Cecilia. The group who worked with him watched Remy's retreating form.

"Jeez, talk about a step forward then fifty steps back!" Bobby cried out. Scott, Kurt, and Kitty nodded in agreement.

Bishop looked thoughtful for a long moment, his eyes still on the door. "Did any of you feel that? Right before the card exploded? It was like…-"

"Anger? Horrible blinding anger and pain?" Kitty cut off Bishop before he could finish his thought. They locked eyes and nodded at each other.

"Yeah, I felt that too!" Bobby exclaimed as he met the gaze of Scott and Kurt.

"Very strange, its almost like," Scott thought about it for a few moments, "like we felt what he felt."

Bobby exclaimed at moved closer to the group. "Yeah! Oh man, Scott, remember what Sinister said about Gambit's multiple powers?" Iceman didn't wait for his affirmation, he was on a roll. "He said that Remy has more than one power, that one of them was to- how did he put it?"

"Influence people with some sort of charm…" Scott echoed Sinister's words.

"Wait, are you saying he made us feel that?" Kitty asked Cyclops.

"It seems that way, but how did he do it?" Bishop asked the group, still perplexed.

xxx

Remy walked the hall until he reached the medical bay. "Bon Jour? Cecilia? Are you here?" Gambit called as he entered the office. He peaked in and saw Beast sitting on a stool, his eyes turned to the door, the microscope forgotten.

"Remy!" Hank stated in surprise.

"Is Cecilia here." Gambit's voice was cold to the doctor.

"Uh no, no sorry. She went into the city today. Is there anything I can help you with, Remy?" Gambit looked down the hall, debating if he wanted to just ignore the pain and wait till Cecilia got home.

"How long will she be gone?"

"Probably until tonight. Really, my friend, is there something I can do for you?" Hank's eyes went to Remy's injured hand. "My goodness, Gambit, your hand!" Beast shot up from his position and went to the first aid kit. "Please, sit down, I will apply some burn spray and lessen the pain." Gambit thought it over for another moment then went to the bench, he leaned against it but didn't sit down. Beast began to work quietly on Remy's hand. After a few moments, Hank decided to try to open the conversation, very carefully.

"I take it the training did not go too well." Remy snorted at the furry man's statement.

"How astute of you, Beast." Gambit pinched the bridge of his nose with his uninjured hand.

"You seem very stressed." Hank took his time cleaning and dressing the burn. Who knows when Gambit would sit and converse with him again. "Have you been sleeping well?"

Gambit shook his head but said, "Yeah I guess."

"You guess?" Beast pulled out a bandage and started covering each finger. "What do you mean, Remy?"

"Look- Hank, its nothing I cant deal with alone. I don't need you poking in on my business."

"I understand that Remy, I would never want to intrude on your privacy. But you are not alone. We are here for you." Hank had asked Remy to join him so many times, to get a nightcap, or watch some television. All the X-Men had offered to spend time with Remy but he kept excusing himself to go to his room, saying he wanted to acclimate to his newly restored powers.

Remy was silent as Hank finished his task. As soon as the doctor was done Gambit walked to the door. He stood there stupidly for a moment. "Hank…" A long pause followed then Remy left the doctor to his research.

"I am here for you." Hank sighed and returned to his work, even though he had a hard time focusing on it.

xxx

Remy's hand screamed from pain but he just couldn't put it down. He gritted his teeth, and was pretty sure he couldn't see anything. Were his eyes open now? He heard a voice but ignored it as a sharp pain cut through the black state he was in. He only knew one thing at the moment, but with each passing second Gambit was approaching clarity. His armed moved on its own and his jaw flopped open in shock.

His eyes rolled into focus and went straight to the scientist. Remy's brows furrowed for a moment then regained their neutral state. What had he been doing? What was going on? Something hurt but it didn't matter, the only thing that was important was the man staring at him intently. Doctor Essex seemed mad, he approached his thief quickly and backhanded him across the face with merciless strength. Gambit's nose bled and his ear was ringing, but he stood his ground. Creed gripped Remy's right arm gently but Gambit made no move to free himself. He had no need to. Mr. Sinister did not command it.

"LeBeau?" Remy waited for Essex to speak again. "Drop the knife." Gambit's white knuckled hand released the blade and it fell to the hard floor with a clang, drops of his own blood shaken from the sharp edge. "Come." Remy LeBeau stepped over the blood and the knife and followed his master.

xxx

"It was like I was lost." Gambit said slowly, his mouth suddenly dry. "I couldn't figure anything out, not one little thing without his voice to guide me." He looked at Xavier's face for only a second then turned to the window again.

"Go on." The professor said gently. Finally, after almost a month, Gambit agreed to talk with the man about his experience with the mad scientist. Remy had been unable to sleep in several nights and Charles had suggested he opened up about his enslavement as a way to seek inner peace. He was still struggling with control of his powers, but had made some progress. But now the progress was stunted from Remy's estuation, his focus wandering.

"I still don't see this being helpful." Remy figuratively dug in his heels. He got up and paced the small office but did not leave. "We know what happened already."

"No, Remy, only you know what happened. We do not. We keep trying to ask you questions, spend time with you, but you push us aside."

"Well why should I have to sit here and spell it out for you?" He snapped angrily. Xavier sat calmly as Remy built himself up. Charles had heard it all before, it was a very valid point that Gambit kept on repeating. The X-Men never trusted him, they betrayed him, and dishonored him. He had expressed his anger, but now was the time to get past the anger and move onto a next step.

The older man looked at Remy as a wall silently fell- a tear slid from his black and red eye. Gambit angrily pushed it off his face, but another one escaped shortly after. Remy turned from Charles and rested his forehead against the window pane. "Why did everyone stop caring?" Remy faced the man, "I was there for six months. I was with him, with that monster, taunting and laughing at me for six horrible long months. He told me you weren't going to come for me. He said the X-Men didn't care."

"Did you believe him?" Xavier asked. Remy thought for a long time, did he truly believe him… Did he think that his own team would leave him to fend for himself against the crazed mad man?

"Yes. He was right too, you didn't come. You didn't care."

xxx

Ororo had been almost in hiding for the last month, only coming when her duties truly required her too. She was mad at herself. It took almost all of the four weeks to realize that was were her anger truly lay. She tried to be angry at Rogue, then at Sinister, then the team members who left him, but in the end it was herself.

"Remy?" Storm stepped off the elevator and into the lowest level of the mansion. "Remy are you here?" She turned the corner and saw-

"Oui Ro, what is it?" Gambit was doing sit ups at a furious pace, sweat was dripping from his forehead to the floor, his grey shirt darkened with his sweat.

"Shouldn't you be resting, Remy? I have heard you are having difficulties sleeping."

Remy stopped and stretched out his upper body from the physical strain he had just placed upon himself. He went onto his knees and started doing push ups. "Cant sleep," Remy grunted to her, "trying to tire my body out." He went up and down quickly. Storm was silent as she watched him. "You need something, Ro?"

"Remy. I just came to tell you…" She trailed off and Gambit stopped what he was doing and looked at her.

"Que?" He went up and down again, faster, close to angry.

"I came to so tell you that I love you. I had never stopped loving you, and no matter how much you hate me, I will always love you."

Remy stopped his push ups and looked at the goddess. She met his gaze evenly and silence followed them for a long moment. He rocked back on his haunches and sighed.

"I didn't hate you." he whispered. "I don't hate you, chere. God I tried too, I tried to hate you. To convince myself that I don't care for you. But I loved you from the moment I met you, padnat, and even now I still love you."

"Oh Remy." She held him, wrapping her arms around his upper body, his head pushed into her stomach. His arms reluctantly went around her waist. "Your forgiveness means the world to me."

Gambit was silent. He didn't have the heart to tell Storm that he did not forgive. He may never forgive. But for now it felt so good to have someone hold him, to feel loved once again.

xXx

Shadow cat's hand reached the phone on the third ring. "X-Mansion, this is Kitty, how may I help you?"

"It is only a matter of time." A gruff voice whispered through the ear piece. Kitty couldn't place the voice, but it seemed so familiar.

"What?" She barked into the receiver.

"You may as well hand him over now, save yourselves a whole lot of pain."

"Who is this?" Kitty whispered and turned her back to an inquisitive Scott, Logan, and Hank.

"Are you sure he will be worth it?"

"I said who is this?" Kitty blanched and gripped the phone tighter in her grip. Just then the front door swung open reveling Gambit coming in from his afternoon smoke. He looked at Shadow cat's face and strode over to the phone, snatching it too quick for her to turn.

"Who is this?" Gambit barked into the phone.

"Well, if it isn't LeBeau." Remy's eyes widened but he didn't disconnect the call. "You know what's going to happen, don't you Remy? They are going to toss you to the side again." He whispered the poison into Remy's ear. "Once they see me and Sinister and the Marauders coming for you they will surrender you faster than you can say 'LeBeau, umbrella, Romeo, mi-" Gambit threw the phone against the wall, affectively ending the conversation.

"Who was that?" Logan asked as the pieces fell to the ground.

Red eyes stared at the mess on the carpet. His eyes burned into them, anger pulsating off of his body. "Creed."

"What did he want?"

"Not did, does. What does he want."

"Well?" Scott asked warily.

"Me." He looked at the Kitty and pursed his lips. "I'm going out for a cigarette."

"Didn't you just have one?" Kitty barked at him, frustrated with his newly rediscovered habit.

"Oui." A phantom smirk played on his lips as the door clicked behind him.

xXx

"Lets go from the beginning, Remy." The professor sat as he watched Remy charge a card to a bright pink color. "Good now bring it back into your body." He slowly absorbed the power from the playing card and evened out his breathing.

"Again." He did it once more, this time with a growing difficulty. Looking to the professor he realized that his collar was in the man's lap, in a panic he groped at his naked neck.

"Professor!" Gambit cried at the fear settled into him. "What did you do? Put it back on!"

"No! Do it again, Gambit!" The man in the chair yelled his orders, Remy was able to charge the card as well as his entire outfit. His sweatpants and sneakers popped and sizzled with heat.

"Put it back, please!" He fell to his knees and pounded his fists into the metal floor of the danger room, trying to draw the pain away from his knuckles.

"Pull in the charge, LeBeau!" Xavier's voice ordered the man on the floor, he tried to pull it back into himself but the pain was just to great for him.

"I can't I can't, please, just put it back!" Gambit was almost crying from the strain he felt all over his body. His shirt was burning off his body, leaving painful scorch marks along his back and chest. "Please I'm begging you, put it on." His skin burned and his knuckles ached.

A pair of black boots entered his teary vision, "You call that begging?" Sinister's voice echoed in the bare room, "I think you could do much, much better." Sinister gripped Remy's jaw painfully, "You are mine, LeBeau."

Remy had decided a little over a week ago that life would suck a little bit less if he could stop having nightmares filled with red eyes, pointy teeth, and claws. If he didn't dream about Sinister he dreamt about Creed. Sometimes a marauder or two would haunt his nights, but they were only the supporting cast. Tonight's dream was no exception. He looked at the clock sitting on the night stand. It was a little past 5 AM and after closing his eyes to see a sickening red diamond hiding behind his lids, Gambit decided to get up.

Silently he made his way up the elevator and towards the kitchen, hoping to brew a strong cup of coffee when he heard voices.

"Please, Warren. Come back to bed." the crisp accent of Betsy echoed in the hallway.

"I can't Elizabeth," sighed the winged man. "I just cant stop my mind from thinking about it."

"You have been like this for weeks," a chair scrapped against the floor, "why don't you just talk to him."

"He wouldn't want to hear what I have to say."

"What is the worst that could happen?"

"Remy has every right to hate me, to hate us. We pushed him so far. Its not just Antarctica, Betsy. Its all of it. I hated him so much. I hated even thinking that he used to live here. I hated Storm for bringing someone like that into my home, our home. It seems so long ago since we found out the truth. So long that we have felt this guilt and it hasn't even been four weeks!"

"I know, Warren, I know."

"How can I possibly apologize? How could he ever accept it? I know what its like to think that no one cares. I know how difficult it is to be in a place you no longer call you home. He must feel like an outsider all over again."

"You do know what it feels like, so why don't you try that commonality."

"Hey, LeBeau, so you were brainwashed by a madman, so was I! Lets go fishing! Please."

Remy smirked at the joke, he knew he shouldn't be eavesdropping, but something about the conversation made him stop. Gambit considered for a minute if he should walk into the kitchen, announce his presence and put an end to their discussion. What would happen? Would he forgive Warren and find an understanding that they had both been used by evil. Would it be the end of all the awkward run ins throughout the mansion? If he entered the kitchen now, saw Warren sitting at the table, close to heart broken would it change anything? Or everything?

Instead he went back to the elevator and pressed the button to go down.


End file.
